Sermon for 6th Pentecost
I Hear You, I Believe You
By The Rev. Eric Christopher Shafer -
Every time we Lutherans produce a new hymnal, and I have now been around for the introduction of two “new” hymnals in my lifetime, every time we Lutherans produce a new hymnal we add some new hymns, hymns that are at least new to us.
One of these in our most recent hymnal, new in 2006, Evangelical Lutheran Worship, one of these new hymns is the song, “You Are Mine,” one that has become a favorite of so many. Many of you will remember its chorus, “Do not be afraid, I am with you. I have called you each by name. Come and follow me, I will bring you home; I love you and you are mine.”
I will confess, my eyes tear up nearly every time we sing this beautiful song.
However, we will not be singing “You Are Mine” again at Mt. Olive anytime soon.
In the last few months information has finally become more public that David Haas, the Roman Catholic composer of “You Are Mine” and three other songs in our hymnal, that David Haas has been accused of sexual violence by over 20 women. Their documented experiences date back to the early 1980’s and relay a consistent pattern of behavior in which Haas manipulated women through his power. In the past when some women stood up to Haas or refused his advances, Haas used his power to damage their careers. Haas has denied any wrongdoing.
Thus, we will not be singing any David Haas songs at Mt. Olive, at least for a while. We do this because we are a church that aligns itself with marginalized people whenever we can. We do this because we want to be in solidarity with the many women in our congregation, community and throughout this world who have experienced sexual violence in their lives.
Yes, I believe in forgiveness. Yes, I believe that terrible people can do wonderful things and even produce wonderful music. And, yes, I do realize that if we studied the background of other hymn writers, we would find some terrible behaviors.
However, I am concerned today about this hymn writer and the many women who have been abused by him and the many others who, when they hear reports of Haas’ violence to women, that these reports and Haas’ songs will now bring up their own experiences of violence by men.
I have read some of the stories women have shared on Facebook following the Haas accusations, how these accusations bring up for them again their own past history of sexual violence and the pain that has caused them, pain they still feel every day.
Over my years in ministry, I have spoken with too many women who have also experienced sexual violence from men. The numbers are overwhelming, and they are everywhere. And, while we must acknowledge that there are some women who have harassed and abused other women and men, the numbers of abusers sadly are disproportionately men and often older, white men.
We, men, you and me, we have a job to do – fathers and husbands, friends and boyfriends, sons, uncles, and grandfathers – we men need to do something to stop this.
Here is how we start – we start by actively listening, and trying to connect to what women are telling us. So often we do not fully listen, but choose to assume we know what people are saying, or we listen to respond rather than listening to understand. We need to stop ourselves and really listen to the words and emotions being shared with us, with our focus to understand what is being said to us.
We need to be alert to the stereotypes and biases we have, and work to make sure we are not letting these color our perception of what is being shared with us.
And, when we do respond our first response should be, “I hear you. I believe you.” Far too many men, and even some women, for far too long, far too many have not listened, or been distracted, or wanted to explain this behavior away, “boys will be boys, you know” or “that’s just locker room talk” or wanted to share their own bullying stories. But we start simply with these words to our friends and family members and colleagues – “I hear you. I believe you.”
Then we need to take at least two more steps:
The first step is confession – we have all been part of this, at least in our jokes, in our language – referring to women as “honey,” “cutie,” “darlin,” “sweetie,” “girls” or “babe” or “baby girl.” Ask your women friends – they can give you far too many other examples.
A simple rule is to ask yourself what words you would be comfortable with hearing used to your daughter, mother or spouse or even yourself. We need to stop doing this and to confess and ask God’s and their forgiveness.
The second step is harder but even more important – we need to challenge abusive behavior everywhere, from our President, down to our work colleagues, neighbors and friends. Language which demeans women or men is not okay, is never okay, in the locker room and anywhere. We must stop this sort of behavior and language in ourselves and do our best to stop it in others.
This is, perhaps, one of the saddest parts of David Haas’ violence toward women. His abusive behavior went on for many years, excused as “well you know, that’s just how he is.” And these excuses came mostly from other men. We must stop this cycle of protection and coverup, coverup of other’s abusive behavior. Such behavior needs to be challenged and reported to those in power in the church and the state.
There are bigger issues going on here also and they are all about power and the abuse of power. Both men, who hold most of the power, and women can and do abuse their power.
I hear you. I believe you. I will not participate in any behavior, in any conversation, that demeans others in any way. And, and this is important, I will listen to others to tell me what is demeaning and what is not. And, I will not excuse any male behavior as “well, he is basically a good guy.” Whatever sort of a person he is, demeaning or abusive behavior is never part of being a good guy.
Hopefully, when we can gather again at Mt. Olive in person, we can have some conversation about these topics.
It goes all the way back to the book of Genesis, where God says, “Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness.”
Women and men were both made in the image and likeness of God, and, because we bear God’s likeness, we are to act like God. Not mind you, like gods, those who lord their authority over others for self-gain, but rather like God – the One who creates and sustains and nurtures and redeems and saves…no matter what the cost. We are called, that is, to serve as God’s agents, God’s partners, and God’s co-workers, exercising dominion over creation not as an act of power but rather as an act of stewardship and extending to all the abundant life God wishes for all. We are to focus on how we treat other people, male and female alike.
We are all God’s children, those made in the likeness of God and charged to follow in the footsteps of Jesus.
We are, men and women alike, charged to follow Jesus, dying to our old habits and calling others to do the same.
So, men, it is time to start acting in the image of God’s love in our relationships and conversations with women, giving up old sexist ways and habits and calling others to do the same. We have a God who is continually saying to us all, “I hear you. I believe you. I care about you.”
God’s call for both men and women is to never forget who we are, children of God, made in God’s own image. We were made in God’s likeness, men and women alike. And, as children of God, we are called to follow in the footsteps of Jesus.
What would that look like? I have already addressed some specific examples. Each of us will have our own other responses, but there certainly are, or should be some common characteristics – kindness, goodness, generosity, treating others as we believe Jesus would treat them, as we would want to be treated ourselves. We can educate ourselves, challenge abusive behavior when we see and, and, as I have already stated, just work harder to listen to each other.
Remember who you are, in whose likeness you were made. And that every other person, male and female alike, was also made in God’s image.
Never forget that you are a child of God, loved and cared-for always by God.
God says to us all, “I hear you. I believe you. I care about you without conditions.” You are made to be more than you can ever realize.
And we respond to God and each other, “I hear you. I believe you. I care about you.”
Amen
The Rev. Eric Christopher Shafer
Senior Pastor - Mt. Olive Lutheran Church
Santa Monica, California
Sermon for:
July 12, 2020
